Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Opps!

What happens when you pay to much attention to ranting on your blog and not paying attention to your children.....



a few phone pics

I have a few phone pics to add. Just those silly things throughout the day that I send to Jared.
mmmmm yummy!


It is actually raining right here...the kids got it in their minds that they needed to go outside, I thought that they would want to go inside once they got wet... but they ignored it, until we had to run inside when things started to hail!

Weird little boy, I wonder where he gets these ideas

Goofball

and then my chunky monkey! I love that little boy! He has the cutest happiest little personality!

Speech and Joey

Sorry, I have another rant coming on.

I had mentioned before that I had called the district preschool office and had talked to a speech pathologist on the phone, and from talking with her- she said he seemed that he was fine for his speech, but afterward I did think to myself that she did not actually talk with Joey and that he probably could use a formal assessment, so I called the lady again and she went over the stuff with me again and said, he was fine and was really really annoyed with me for still insisting on an evaluation. She kept asking me "How do YOU think his speech is" and I would answer that personally I do think he is fine where he was, HOWEVER I could just be very biased and I mentioned that my mom and mother in law etc had expressed concern over it, after I mentioned that she would not come off it, saying how it was not my mother that we should be going off of etc.....(I was just trying to show that other invested family members that have heard him and have more expereince with kids thought as much sheesh) she acted very annoyed and upset that I still thought I should do an evaluation.


Yesterday I went to take Joey in for his speech evaluation. The whole ordeal left me more confused and upset then ever. As I prepared for the meeting I kept telling myself I needed to step back, take advise, be objective, and really hear the advise given to me about my son. However, the speech pathologist (same lady as on the phone) had a very very very (notice how many verys) intimidating voice in her approach. From the START she asked Joey to point at things ect with a very very very intimidating voice (again.... I really tried to just pull myself out of it and stop trying to protect him from everything.... but it really was intimidating, from the start) Joey got really nervous so they brought him in another room with out me. Again he was really scared and nervous and laid on the floor crying a bit, not wanting to do the tasks she was demanding.

Again, all the methods and tasks she was using I do think were appropriate... but the voice and the tone she used really was very scary and demanding (not firm, demanding) I listened for a few minutes outside blinking back tears- telling myself to stop trying to protect him, he is with professionals. After a minute of that (she really literally just took a minute with each approach) she marched me and Joey down to a room and said that because of his BEHAVIOR I needed to fill out a form. As I did and was left alone in the room I kept blinking back tears... thinking how this really felt beyond me wanting to be protective of him, I really don't understand how any child (especially one that has no school related experience) would want to comply with this lady, she scared me from the beginning.

After awhile after I had filled out the form, they had me and Joey just go play with the toys while they listened in to get a speech sample from him. It took me awhile to compose myself enough to play in a way to even get Joey to talk about the toys etc. Eventually I was able to get Joey talking a lot and they were able to get the sample they could use anyway.

Afterward they went over thier findings with me. Showed me that he was actually making all the sounds and 3 or 4 word sentences consistantly. Showed me on a graph that he was in the average range for his speech (although, leaning just slightly to the "at risk" portion) but all in all he was just fine speech wise and the speech pathologist again acted like I was an idiot for thinking he had a problem.

They went on to say how his behaviour was manipulative and gave me some papers and advise on that. They also really suggested that he gets into a preschool setting (which I definitly DO agree with)

I was so fruastrated by the whole ordeal though. Again, I am not trying to coddle Joey and defend everything... but really the lady was way to darn intimidating from the beginning, scarying Joey and making him nervous from the beginning and then getting upset with him and making me feel like a bad mother because he was to nervous to talk with her. And then in the end they showed me that he was OKAY for his speech, but acknowledging that he was slightly behind but giving me no advise, no instructions or anything on how to improve his speech, no plan, no disscussion on why he might be behind, no suggestions of speech thearpy but instead telling me that he was manipulative and should have been more willing to comply (again, granted he can be manipulative but I really don't think he was in this situation).

I do think that they were able to get a good sample from Joey as we played and they said that they understood 90% of what he was saying (the General education lady didn't watch us play so she wouldn't be influenced by what she saw but what she heard) so I do feel at ease that I have been right in thinking his speech was fine.

If it wasn't for the other lady, the general education lady acting and talking in a non intimidating and regular voice and way, I would not have lasted the whole time.

When I went out to the car where Jared was waiting to pick us up I had to finally cry for a few mintues before I could tell him the findings of the evaluation.

That really was the most horrible experience so far in my parental life. I am not naive and I know that I will have plenty more uncomfortable experiences related to my children, especially my Joey. I know they have certain methods ect to assess the children, but again the speech pathologist approach and voice was super scarey and intimidating that I think a grown man would have felt it to.

A good note to myself from the meeting, when I was going over some of the findings regarding behavior (based on the questionaire form they had me fill out) with the general education lady (the nice one) I saw the hyperactive section (the symbol showed it right in the normal range not even close to the at risk section even) and I mentioned to her my concern that he could be ADD or ADHD and she said, that although she is not a Dr. equiped to make that kind of diagnosis she does do a lot of evaluations (they evaulate a lot of things there, not just speech) and she saw no indication that he would be. She noted how behind us Joey cleaned up one toy, before starting another and that his play had structure and he was not jumping from toy to toy ect. Said, some boys are just busy and that was most likely it, and that is how i really feel- I always do get nervous because I have had a couple people express to me that he is the most busy boy they have ever seen. However he has never been aimless in his business, he always has a mission or an idea he is trying to play out and I think he just has a lot of imagination and engergy.

Back to the whole preschool thing, I am getting a bit fruastrated with. I so badly badly want to put him in preschool but all of the district ones are full (they did mention one might have some openings, but it is really far away for me so I don't know how I would really swing it with one car) All other preschools are to expensive for us right now. I have thought about doing a neighborhood preschool but there are not many kids to involve in it, everyone around here have kids either quite a bit older or younger than him, and I don't think a preschool with Joey, Jeanie and thier friend Austin that I would be able to establish the structure that Joey is really needing. (He more so needs the structure from it, not terribly concerned about his knowledge- he is a smart boy and I know he will catch on to those things when he gets the opportunity). I will be putting him in preschool for this next year (his year before kindergarten) for sure though, but I probably should have considered the extra year of preschool several months ago before the district ones filled up.

I am fruatrated that the only class time he has is nursery-but I am his teacher in there. He will be going to sunbeams in a few months though- so I do hope that that helps him. I am thinking it probably wasn't so good for him that I was his nursery teacher- kids just act differently with mom around (as we all know :) ) I am trying to decide if it is still okay for me to be Jeanie's nursery leader. She actually is doing really well in there and most of the time doesn't cling to me or anything- she would rather go talk and play with the other teacher and she is very willing to act appropriatly and not trying to act up because mom is there.

Sorry for yet another rant... I am just still really upset from yesterday. Laid in bed all night wondering if I was a bad mom, wondering if I have ruined Joey for his entire school career because I have not provided enough structure for him...... feeling guilty that I had not tried to get him evaluated much sooner, wondering if I have done him a huge disservice by thinking he was fine. Kicking myself for not exploring his preschool options and also thinking that he really is a smart little kid, again I might be biased but I see his potential and abilities and think he will be brillant.

Monday, October 4, 2010

A little update

video

In June the kids all caught croup... that was seriously the most miserable time ever! I meant to take a picture here, but it came out as video... you can definitely see how extremely awful it was! The poor kids, I still shudder to think about how horrible those 2 weeks were. video

Joey apparently watched Jared with his chopstix pretty well, he was doing even better before we took the video. Please ignore the state of the apartment... I apparently didn't put away groceries yet.


So our biggest news of the past few months is that Joey is finally potty trained. It really isn't so much that it was so hard for him to get potty trained, he just didn't have much interest and I kept finding excuses to not concentrate on it. He probably would have been trained a long time ago if I had. All in all it only took a few weeks encouraging him with awesome pull-ups, sticker charts, and then buying some hecka cool underwear. I was trying to get him and Jeanie at once but that just got to much watching both of them like a hawk so I just focused all my energy on Joey and Jeanie was a bonus. For awhile though we thought Jeanie would be there before him! I need to be a bit more vigilant with her, but she definitely has the desire and prefers the potty, and she usually is about 50% trained. So maybe just maybe I will be back down to just one in diapers in the next few months! Yeah!

James is Growing up so stinking fast! I can't believe it! The last time I posted pictures was from his first few days of life in the hospital. He is now 6 months old! He is so much bigger than the other two ever was. Outgrowing clothes that I put on Joey clear up to a year old. He is starting to work on a crawl! It is so fun to see it, watching him working on that army crawl and inching toward a shiny object on the floor is just so fun. He is such a delight! He is always flirting and always smiling (as long as he has his mommy!) He has been very mom clingy latley. He used to take a bottle just fine when I would go to my class on thursday evenings, but then for 5 weeks I took a class online and didn't give him one during that time... ya that was a big mistake. Now he refuses it so it makes every thursday night when I go off to school very painfully difficult for Jared since James is so hungry but won't take the bottle.

Joey is talking so much more now. He might still be onry and shy at family things but he is just talking up a storm now. I have been off and on worried about it. I kept thinking, well he is only 2, well he is only 3... but now he is 3 1/2 and even though he is going crazy talking I decided to finally schedule an appointment for him to be evaluated. Even though on the phone with all the questions the lady asked me he seemed just fine. I have also talked to my friends sister who is a Speech pathologist and she said she thought he was okay to. But obviously none of them actually spoke to him so we will see with the formal evaluation. Personally, even though I have found it fruastrating trying to talk with him I do not think he has any serious speech problems... just his personality was just a walker not a talker. I think he just didn't care to talk. I could never get him to repeat things, ever. He never wanted to parrot us, but he understood everything we said.

I am getting so fruastrated with being in school. I like class and am excited about becoming a teacher but sheesh it is so difficult to take care of everything. I hate the days when I end up working on homework during the day time and ignore the kids. It is not cool, and some of the homework is so fraustratingly pointless so it is that much more annoying. I took my Praxis I exam and passed both reading and math portions, and am crossing my fingers when my writing score comes back it passes to. The days before the Praxis when I finally decided to study the house went to crap, which it goes to a lot latley, I am finding it hard to keep up on house work, tend to and ENJOY my 3 kids and be a full time student married to a full-time student/full-time job husband. I am glad that I am in school and know it was a good decision because it will only get harder to go back, but it is difficult and sometimes I wonder if I should have gone into a different field. It is fruastrating that I had more credits transfer to University of Phoenix then Jared, but he graduates a WHOLE year earlier than I do. I also have to find time to do 100 hours of observations! Seriously, how the heck are we soppossed to do that! I do not have anyone to babysit the kids! 3 tiny kids is a lot to ask someone to babysit, and I do not have any spare money to pay someone to watch them right now. So, I just keep watching the months go by and wonder how I am going to get it done in only 1 1/2 or less years. I also find my self worrying a lot about student teaching. 2 months full time, child care gets really complicated thier... especially since by Jaunuary 2012 I may have another baby (basing off of my normal age gap... not announcing anything here) and I do not want to leave a small baby for 2 months. Oh well that is not for a few years.... but I do start thinking that I should have gone for the same degree as Jared, when I help him study I realize that I actually like the HR aspect of Business and it is something that a lot of people do part time... but I am already 6+ classes into my program and that would be a lot of money down the crapper, and I do want to teach but again, I got to admit going thorugh each class starts to make me really anxious wondering if I am up to being an Elementary teacher, there is just so much expected of them I just don't know. I also don't know how it will work since, I am getting a degree so I have something to fall back on if I do need to go to work...I don't want to work just cause I have a degree if I don't have to you know... but how am I soppossed to stay in it? Just substitute or something I guess.... Sorry I am sure that little rant was a bit boring, but those are my thoughts right now.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Well, I have not really posted anything all summer! Between classes and 3 kids it is just not happening latley. I have a few pictures to post from the summer, except we have multiple SD cards going on for some reason, so this is just one of them.



This is one of our outings to the park. Jeanie got this dress for her birthday from Gma Stoker and thinks she needs to wear it every time she heads out the door. She is such a little Princess and loves wearing it.

We were watching William one night and tried to get all the kids to sit in succession of age on the couch, didn't work well. Told the kids to get their shoes on and Joey put on slippers and Jeanie a pair of boots. We had some cans out to give the scouts and this is how I found them after my shower.

Trip to the Zoo. The kids had a great time! Joey kept talking about it for days, they were totally amazed by the huge giraffes and elephants and Jeanie could not stop watching the monkeys jumping around.

Ward campout. We hadn't opened the tent in a year and apparently we had broken one of the pieces, we ended up having to borrow some tape and Jared was able to rig it so it would stay up for us.